Time to Open the Book I Have Tried Hard to Keep Closed
First of all I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who follows Free FinDom Guide! I’m overwhelmed with all the positive feedback and so happy to see Women old and new share advice and offer support to each other, this makes Me really happy that we can move our fetish forward more positively :)
I would like to apologise once again for a tweet that was wrongly worded for which I have tried to reword a few times as to not offend anyone. The subject of nudity in Findom has been a topic of conversation most certainly since before I started practicing and experienced FinDommes on Twitter have sent several tweets regarding this as a big no-no so I tried to put this into 140 characters. It was harder than I expected it to be! I didn’t expect a bit of a backlash about it but hopefully I will have rectified this now. Once again, apologises for any offence caused, there is absolutely zero issue with nudity in FemDom and it is not what FemDom is purely about. I’m always talking about how I’m naked and will tweet the rare pic of Me with My bits covered, because I am an exhibitionist at heart!
There has never been and never will be an issue (at least in My point of view anyway as I come from a brief background in pornography which I have never hidden since day one). The Findom community are just trying to make it clear that our fetish involves no explicit nudity and it is not intentional to separate ourselves from FemDom or Sex Workers at all. We are all equals as Female Dominant sex workers whether we choose to dominate in tracksuits or birthday suits! :D
It was Kiana’s birthday and CBW were celebrating it.I wasn’t sure about going but I really wanted to, so I did anyway as I did previously have fun at CBW. MC asked Me to bring her a present and so I did to show that at least if we couldn’t be friends, we could at least be amicable.
The birthday went ok and even Mistress Esme said out loud in front of everyone at Kiana’s birthday that she acted like a “total bitch towards Foxx”. But I still wasn’t sure if she was being genuine towards Me, she sat next to Me and held My hand and I felt quite uncomfortable considering the problems we had had up until this point…
A few days later, Mistress Ika had used some of My tweets along with a picture of Me slave claiming him as her own (Jack Russell on the right) from Kiana’s birthday celebrations.
She had also used some tweets of some other girls and I asked her if she could please stop but her response was to block Me and continue to use My content.
She continued to keep using My content so for nearly a month so I found her phone number to call her to try and resolve this as I prefer to talk but was SCREAMED at down the phone. I was in complete shock, I was left stunned. I’d never ever had that happened to Me before. Kiana found out about My attempts to communicate with Ika to have My plagiarised content removed and then text Me saying I should "check” Myself and that I “wasn’t all that”. I had spoken to Madame Caramel and Deviant about it to try and get their help and their response was that they agreed with Me. Apparently Ika had stolen content before and that they didn’t warm towards Kiana when they first met her so I shouldn’t take it personally. But MC said she would have a word with Ika about it and I was pleased that she was making attempts to have this issue sorted.
I attended the FemDom Ball after party at Club Rub last year. I went to the toilet with a Domme friend only to come out and find Kiana all over My then boyfriend and My slave having to intervene to stop her. I had to push Myself in-between her and just sighed a heavy sigh. She then kept coming up to us, trying to kiss Me and dragged My boyfriend and I off our chairs and onto the floor. I just wanted to be left alone. I was not bothering her, I was just trying to have My own fun with the Foxxy Family and not have to deal with any issues.
Over the years, Esme had asked Me a few questions via DMs about how to use Niteflirt and how to use multiple cams and I was happy to help her as I am with anyone. And I was always nice and complimentary to her, even at the last CBW I attended I commented on how fabulous she was looking at the other Dommes around Me agreed!
One day I wrote a tweet about a friend of Mine for 20 years being and I quote “jealous” of My findom lifestyle and I told her not to be jealous and that she should do what she can to improve her personal situation which she always kept complaining about. Now she keep Me posted and thanks Me for helping her go back to study and I was the only one who ever had her back and that made me feel really good I could help her! The next tweets that followed were about being positively inspired and that everyone can get what they want if they just work hard and believe. I am inspired by politicians, public speakers, activists, rags to riches stories, religion, paralympians etc People who have had to overcome great challenges to find happiness and success.
But then I received tweets from Esme and Deviant saying how I live in “la la land” and that it doesn’t work that way, that people slave away for My “material things” which I assumed was to do with the things I had been bought as a Financial Dominant and that I should work with the homeless… Of course I know these things but the point of My tweets seemed to be lost… I don’t intend to justify Myself to anyone but I have tweet on the rare occasion about My involvement with charities and areas in which I help communities globally but it should’ve been irrelevant to the point I was making. I was then told “bye Felicia”. From then on Esme would try to poke Me into getting into arguments “what do you mean by the tweet you just said?”, “what are you talking about?” Why not just unfollow Me if you have an issue with what I have to say, I don’t bother her at all?
I had only worked with Madame Caramel once before and that was for a foot fetish party. I really wanted to go so I had made the 4 hour round trip to get there on the day of My birthday party which I had to be back home for! I was really excited to be there as it was the first event I had ever attended… But I was really taken aback to discover I was only going to get £5 for the event as there wasn’t enough boys who tribute… I was very confused as to how this could happen. The party was filmed without any discussion or input and promised to send us copies of the clip but I didn’t receive it. And then I saw it was being sold without My agreement or consent. I was pretty upset about it and I asked for the clip several times so I could sell it Myself but it never came. Eventually I had to take the hard and conscious decision to ask publicly on Twitter.
Caramel was then upset by this, and I apologised wholeheartedly but sometimes you have to do things in a way you don’t want to be treated fairly. But I still continued to promote and support her as I thought she was a great lady and was really nice to Me!
I did a poll on which countries I should visit on My next tour. European countries came out on top but one option was UAE - Dubai, Saudi Arabia etc.
Madame Caramel tweet Me saying “good luck entering Saudi” and started giving Me advice about having to get into the country. But it didn’t come out on top so I wasn’t planning on going there on My next tour so wondered why she proceeded to tell Me what to do… I joked back about getting a Hajj visa and she said she will watch from her “private box” and that she has a diplomat contact, and is sitting in business class drinking champagne on a plane doing “ladies things” after I complimented her and said “you go, girl”…
So I shouldn’t even attempt to have subs, benefactors, lifestyle slaves anywhere she does? I started to notice her say frequently that FinDommes “beg” and that she is living a high life… I don’t bother her, only ever compliment her so why try to make Me feel small?
I started Free FinDom Guide to give advice to new FinDommes and to stop the backlash against them for being new. I wanted to help them because no-one else was. I had noticed Dommes who had tried FinDom and didn’t do so well, start to berate others. Generally Dommes were always having a go a “instadommes” and not giving them a chance to grow. They were and are constantly under attack or being belittled and I wanted to help to be able to change that.
I had seen on Twitter a few screenshots about a Domme who had plagiarized some material of other Dommes, was doing classes, which apparently have also been copied from someone else, talk about how she was the best. She DM’d a finsub who had spent a lot on a few Domme friends of Mine saying:
“bitch, I’m the fucking best. Why serve anyone else”
That just made Me really really disappointed especially as she was essentially saying that subs shouldn’t even tribute her students, and then putting students in polls to decide who will go on cam with her. The treatment of them made Me feel really upset, especially as I thought she was genuine. I never want to see a Woman treat other Women like that, trying to wipe them out as competition by making them look inferior and lots of Women in the FinDom community were being very vocal about it.
I was and really am happy to see the positivity around Free FinDom Guide - it’s followers are growing really quickly! And I am grateful of all the kind words of support and love in return. I use the success of other FinDommes to spur Me on and I hope that the new Dommes who follow My guide can also use Me as their inspiration.
But Mistress Liberty tweet Me saying:
Yes, I was on a month long holiday paid for by My good boys and yes, of course girls should pay for advice in any other industry. Why try and insult Me to say I have nothing better to do than to try and help other Women because they were being ridiculed for practicing FinDom?
Then she tweet:
“#findom but don’t pay Women for skills and advice, what a great message!”
Women in FinDom will understand the reasons as to why FinDom advice should be free. There is nothing more to learn that telling a guy to pay you and being strict about it, but when I see a Domme using her students to increase her popularity, it’s just plain wrong. Again, why bother Me with what I am doing when I don’t bother her at all, only ever say nice things and am trying to help the Women who are constantly being judged by other Women?
So this now brings us up to September were things were getting increasingly worse.
I was shocked and stunned as I had no idea what or who she was talking about, asked a few Domme friends and they didn’t know either. I tried to talk to her about it via DM and on text but she ignored Me. Was she referring to My friend who has gone back to study? Why put something like this in public when I have been nothing but nice and supportive of her since day one? I don’t tweet anybody telling them their tweets are wrong, or try to start something, I just mute or unfollow and people can and should exercise this privilege. So I text her and hoped to find out what was going on.
But then she blocked My FreeFinDomGuide account and didn’t talk to Me the next day. I had finally reached My limit with all of this so I had to block all of the ladies in return who were making Me feel judged with everything I was doing.
Then most recently I was highlighted to a barrage of tweets about Me. And I am not going to stand by and keep quiet when now I am being slandered for how I conduct My business.
I am simply tired of having to defend Myself from them, when all I am doing is being Myself and being happy. And they can ALL say I have always been supportive of them, nice to them, complimentary to them, would retweet them etc I still do not know what I have personally done to them to warrant a response such as this
Subconsciously I have been fighting their words about Me for years and it has come out in tweets and so now I want to put this to rest. I want to carry on having fun, living My life and supporting the rest of the FemDom community as I always have done and not have this on My mind anymore.
I want to be free of them so I can keep spreading love and positivity to all. I know they will respond and of course they are entitled to and I will receive a backlash from this but I need to think of My sanity. I have retained every tweet, whatsapp message, email and documented phone calls just incase I needed to do something like this. When I get DMs from other Dommes asking why MC is starting something with Me, the I have taken all I can take.
I cannot bear the constant beatings from these ladies anymore and I will not be speaking about this anymore. I just cannot. And it is upsetting as hell that they are all Black Women because of all the Women I wanted to become friends with, it was them. If they want to bury the hatchet with Me, they are welcome. I lend My ears to listen and extend My hand to reciprocate a shake.
But never in My life have I had to deal with such an onslaught. I have only ever told 2 Dommes of these problems I’ve had and My most trusted sub.
Scroll My timeline, search My work, read My blogs. I have had nothing but love for them all and never said a bad word in spite of this. My Sisterhood video has been part of My catharsis…
I won’t be answering any questions or responding to any tweets about this, just carrying on doing My thing. And if they want to continue carrying on doing what they are doing then fine. I’m officially done.
Rain acid on Me if it brings you warmth in your heart you.
and in 2019, it still continues...
Now for the difficult part… the 4 year story so far
To address the level of aggression in the backlash I have received from certain Dommes.… Whilst some have been able to communicate with Me in a way that helps Me correct the nudity issue, (thank you for this!) others have taken it upon themselves to personally throw name calling and insults into the mix.
I sadly had to block a number of Dommes on Twitter that were goading Me into arguments or generally just being very derogatory towards other Women and the FinDom fetish. I just can’t have any of these negative vibes around Me anymore and I’d had to deal with them practically since My first day as a FinDomme. I have been called all sorts of names over the years but I brush them off because that’s what you do.
However this certain group of Women did matter to Me.
The Club Black Whip ladies.
So let’s start from the beginning -
I was so excited to meet fellow Black Dommes when I first started but since day one it has been tough to be around them. I was emailed by Kiana's slave to film with her but the very first day I was introduced to Kiana, she was very cold towards Me, infact she completely turned her back on Me as I was talkig to her! I emailed her saying we don’t have to be friends because we are CBW ladies and that was fine, she should just be honest with Me as I thought it was supposed to be a Sisterhood of acceptance, especially as Madame Caramel had invited Me into the fold.